Disguised blessings after an injury
One week before leaving for the U-20 Women’s World Cup. Three days before Texas Tech’s season opener against Penn State. Two minutes left in our offense defense drill and zero goals on the scoreboard. The ball came to my feet, and, as it always does, everything in the world felt right. I checked my shoulder, anticipated the defender’s press, and baited her with a small touch inside before explosively touching it back outside of her reach. Simultaneously, I sprinted onward with the ball to try and beat my defender.
I could sense the defender chasing me now. Like I’d done a million times before, I bounced the ball off my forward’s feet, pausing my momentum and dancing my way around the backside of my opposition to get free once again.
But this time was different; if my greatest fears had a sound, it rang through my ears like a tornado warning. After passing the ball, I stepped back to regain my balance and I heard it, that ominous popping sound. The tornado of emotions closed in.
Immediately, I knew what had happened. My mind raced to the World Cup - the milestone event I had been preparing for, not only since receiving the call-up two weeks prior but my whole life. After tumbling over, I plopped down. On the same grass that had brought me so much joy just 10 seconds ago, the same grass that just months before we had celebrated my Big 12 Freshman of the Year award, I fell flat on my back, letting all the emotions and pain run through me. Frustrated but more so sad, I lay there - hands over my face, bawling. The years were not because of any physical pain but rather because I knew what it meant. It meant I was missing the U-20 World Cup.
Practice paused, just as it felt my life did. I don’t even remember the faces of my teammates. I only remember my trainer appearing in front of me as he helped me up and walked me to the sideline. I felt numb. My body wasn’t even on this earth. I couldn’t fathom what had just happened. My greatest soccer fear had come true. I couldn’t stop crying.
Practice resumed, but my life felt twisted upside down.
As hard as this moment was, I’ve been here before, and I know I can do it again. Six years ago, this same type of injury hit my life. It was almost nostalgic. I was at the top of my game, only to tear my ACL and miss an entire year of soccer. The injury posed challenges, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Not playing the sport I love was hard. Feeling like I was missing out on so many opportunities was hard. The pain from the surgery was hard. Physical therapy was hard.
However, amidst this hardship, I found beautiful perspectives and multiple resources to lean on. My best friend, Ella, tore her ACL just a few weeks before me. Seeing Ella’s enthusiastic resilience and determined attitude encouraged me to embrace the challenges and celebrate each little win together.
Ella told me multiple times that her mom believes her first ACL tear happened for her to help me get through it. This discovery revealed the disguised blessing of realizing how much you need people to overcome adversity. No matter how strong you are on your own, the backbone of a strong support system to lean on is everything on the toughest of days.
Not only that, but Ella also taught me the journey is what you make it. No matter how much injuries suck, a positive perspective can mean the world in keeping sanity and joy and coming out of the process even stronger.
Fast forward to today, my life has not, in fact, necessarily turned upside down for the worse, but rather, my path has just altered. I have an amazing support staff here at Texas Tech, full of coaches, trainers, and teammates, not to mention my parents, boyfriend, and friends. Each passing day and every passing challenge continues to present more opportunities to grow from this experience. I am reminded to appreciate what I have, and I remain hungry for what more there is to come.
I learned every struggle reveals beautiful purposes only found in the stormiest of times, which this injury created a perfect stage for. Just like my eighth grade self, I have no doubt I will come back physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger on the other side in due time. I can’t wait to be back, but in the meantime, I can’t wait to uncover what disguised blessings are out there for me this next year.