Growing up, my high school volleyball coach encouraged us to “respect all, fear none.” Respect is a core value on and off the court. We demonstrate respect and sportsmanship to our teammates by huddling after a point and to our opponent by exchanging claps before and after a game.

Respect is essential, but there’s a double standard when it comes to women’s competitive spirit. Female athletes are expected to find a careful balance between being respectful and competing hard. To be passionate but not too intense; competitive but always polite.

This expectation limits how we can express our passion for the game. Fans and the media often judge women harshly for showing fire and intensity, which not only restricts self-expression but also reinforces limiting stereotypes. Think back to when Serena Williams was labeled "angry" and “hostile” for standing up to the umpire during the 2018 US Open final, while male players have displayed similar or worse behavior without comparable scrutiny.

It makes it hard for female athletes to fully embrace their competitive edge without facing criticism. Women deserve the same space to be as confident and fiery as their male counterparts.

The season’s first came against the University of Missouri - Kansas City. The ref had warned me for my intense cheer after getting a point for my team. Mind you, all I did was clap where I was facing. This demonstrates the double standard because male athletes often celebrate more aggressively without facing similar warnings, while I was told to tone it down for simply clapping.

More recently, against Georgia on November 6, I received a yellow card just for celebrating a play (above). I noticed the opposing team struggling with a pass that was heading too close to the net, making it difficult for them to set up their play. To disrupt the setter's focus and timing, I yelled loudly to create confusion and possibly force an error. It worked, and my team won the point. I clapped in celebration right where I was already facing the net—not to taunt, but simply because that’s where my body was positioned. Still, I got the first yellow card of my collegiate career.

What frustrated me wasn’t just getting the yellow card but how little it took to get one compared to men’s sports.

In men’s sports, this level of intensity is often encouraged, allowing men to enjoy displays of bold, even disrespectful, celebration. But in women’s sports, that same energy is labeled unsportsmanlike – dare I say, unladylike. This double standard keeps women from fully expressing their passion across volleyball and other sports.

Consider how fans and the media celebrate male athletes like Anthony Edwards and Kevin Garnett for their fiery intensity and trash-talking. They flock to Edwards’ games, cheering him on as he shows up with an unparalleled competitive edge. Even Garnett's reputation as one of the most passionate players ever is upheld by fan admiration. The praise is unyielding because we see their competitiveness as strength.

Contrast this with the experiences of female athletes. Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese both faced scrutiny for their high-energy, super-competitive styles in women’s basketball, despite the fact that their intense performances are helping to grow women’s sports. Volleyball players like Harper Murray and Asjia O’Neal have faced similar experiences with the double standard. Both were criticized for their lack of “humbleness” rather than praised for their competitive nature.

This constant scrutiny not only diminishes their achievements but also takes a toll on their mental health, as they are forced to navigate unfair judgments while striving to excel in their sport. Over time, such pressure can lead to feelings of self-doubt, burnout, and an unhealthy need to suppress their authentic competitive spirit.

The path forward requires a shift in how we perceive and support female athletes. It’s essential to celebrate female athletes’ competitive nature as a strength. Media coverage can emphasize female athletes' passion, showcasing it as an asset to women’s sports. Through feature articles, documentaries, and commentary, we can normalize the idea that women’s sports are as intense and competitive as men’s.

Respecting female athletes means embracing the full range of their competitive spirit. Women in sports should not have to silence their passion or hold back their intensity. Only then can we ensure that future generations of athletes, regardless of gender, are empowered to respect all and fear none.